I Came By

A vigil

I came by today

as I promised
last year, when the
summer solstice
peaked in radiance
of light-filled clouds,

clustering withered poppies
blood red witnesses
to my solitary vigil.

I came by,
cossetted with
weather beaten
gravestones,
tilting in surrender
to their own demise
yielding promises kept

eternally loved
forever remembered
together again

bathed in pale gold
sunbeams
tracing your names
in ruby granite

proof that once you
were here,
gloriously alive.

I came by as child
and woman
while decades turn
in a monochrome fog
and what-ifs
slide mockingly
out of reach

clutching muted pink roses
in ashen grey paper

all I can give you
in that place
where possessions
no longer matter
and I cannot yet go.

Yesterday marked 50 years since my mum died. I returned to the graveside, where she is at rest with my brother, to give quiet thanks, trusting that death is not the end, and those we love and see no more are never far from us.